The Hero. The Villain. The Girl. : The Deal With Relationships

The Hero. The Villain. The Girl. 3

The Deal with Relationships (The Girl)

By Ptr. Marty Ocaya

Behind ever superhero is a girl that serves as his inspiration whenever he saves the world.

For Superman (a.k.a Clark Kent), it's Lois Lane.

Lois Lane first encountered the dashing hero in a Kyrptonian scout spaceship in the Arctic. It was during this time that she was rescued by Superman and she discovered his inhuman abilities. This lead to her writing about the experience but was rejected by her editor, forcing her to hunt down Clark for more information to put in her expose. However, as the time passes, Lois finds herself falling for our mysterious protagonist. She fell...hook, line, sinker. 

Lois represents the romance in the film Man of Steel. She is the apple of the hero's eyes, the reason why he can go on and save the world.

Which leads us to the topic of this blog- RELATIONSHIPS.

Yes, relationships.

When the talk is about love lives, people begin to perk up because let's face it, it's one of the most interesting topics for most of us. 

Relationships are by far one of the most problematic yet most important aspects of our lives. Problematic, why? Surely, some of us have experienced the 'Di makatulog sa gabi sa kaiisip (Cannot sleep due to thinking too much)' or the cannot-eat-because-I'm-lovesick-baby phenomena. When things don't go well in our love life (or crush life for some of us), we're highly distracted.

But to be fair, it can also give us our daily bits of inspiration. Your crush said 'Hi' = HAPPY DAY.

All of us would like to have healthy and happy relationships. 

The key to such ideal relationship is to have a HEALTHY HEART. Not one free from cholesterol...a heart that is free from distractions, possesses pure intentions and so forth. 

How's your heart?

Jeremiah 17:9 describes the true nature of our hearts:

The heart s deceitful above all things

and beyond cure

Who can understand it?

Our heart is the most deceitful of all our organs. Not only that, it's also one of the most complicated of them all. Who can understand it? Remember lines such as "I love him but I don't" or "I hate that I love you so"? COMPLICATED! We can't understand what our heart really wants. If we keep on listening to it, we'll go insane trying to decipher it.

Having a healthy heart is vital should we desire to have a healthy relationship.

How can we manage our hearts then?

1. Manage your emotions

Don't be the type that easily falls for a person just because of their looks. Just because he has a cleft chin, a twirl in his hair and 10-pack abs, that doesn't mean he's automatically the ONE! Our emotions can easily sway us from thinking rationally. Keep them in place and know when to utilize them properly.

- Appreciate More. Expect Less.

If we expect a lot from people, we all eventually end up being disappointed in them. If you keep on expecting that your crush actually likes you but apparently he/she doesn't, you will most likely have another rotten day at school and be disappointed for most of the time. Rather than posses a high level of expectations, learn to appreciate people for what they are. Appreciate that you are friends with the person you admire rather than expect, expect, expect and watch them burn right in front of your eyes.

- Don't allow your emotions to dictate your decisions

When we're emotionally high or low, we should know better than to make decisions. Our emotions can blind us from thinking logically. We are dictated by what we feel, especially when they're running very high. You'll say yes to this guy because you're so flattered that he likes you and he's the cutest guy in school but you've forgotten to process the fact that he disobeys his mom a lot and disrespects his older sister often. You'll go after this girl because you know that she likes you back but you're blinded with these, disregarding the fact that she's a very demanding sort of person.

Don't make decisions when your emotions are in high levels. You might as well regret the consequences in the end.

- Timing ins important so learn to wait

WAITING is of the essence. When we wait, it shows that we trust God's judgement. We're not saying yes immediately to proposals of love because we're waiting upon God's answer. 

Why wait? For students, it's highly advised to prioritize other matters such as God, family and academics over romantic relationships because as of the moment, those are our responsibilities. If we rush things, sometimes the outcomes are not what we exactly want.

- Listen to your mind

The world keeps on telling you to listen to your heart. As the prophet Jeremiah stated, the heart is DECEITFUL so why base all your decisions in it? Use your head! The mind is our voice of reason. We should learn to balance reason and heart. Our heart has the tendency to block our minds. Don't let it rule you out! Think logically before you dive into an act you might as well regret.

2. Take your responsibilities seriously!

RESPONSIBILITY is everywhere. Each stage in our life carries a responsibility we should learn to fulfil. For example, at this age, the youth generation, our responsibility is not only to be a daughter/son or a brother/sister to our siblings but also to be students, preparing ourselves for the future.

Having a romantic relationship is also a responsibility one chooses to add in his/her list of roles. As much as possible, students are advised to know their priorities, to focus on their studies first because let’s face it, caring for someone is not only rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise (as Adam Levine sings in She Will Be Loved), it’s a big duty too. If we keep on being irresponsible and let life dictate what we should do or our emotions to take over, we might end up with harmful consequences.

Teenage pregnancies are caused by kids who were irresponsible and unmindful of the possible effects of their actions.

3. Save sex for marriage

Contrary to popular belief that God hates sex, the truth is God made sex and He is a big supporter of it- if it is in the context of marriage.  Sex is His gift to couples who were brought together and married under His Word.

Some say that sex is an expression of love. If this is done before marriage, that’s not love. That’s just lust. LUST has devastating consequences that come along with it if it is allowed to overrule a life. Consider this: why are most gender confusion cases occurring among teens (meaning they don’t know if they’re still straight or gay) who have had family members abuse them sexually? Why is it harder to admit past sexual mistakes compared to other mistakes such as gambling, drinking and stealing? Why are affairs outside of marriages one of the main reasons behind broken families?

Healing from sexual mistakes takes a longer time.

Lust, when overused and mistaken for love, can bear consequences that will make us wish we had never done so in the first place. SEX is supposed to be a wonderful gift from God that we should save till we’re married and share it with our future husband/ wife.

Let’s go back to Jeremiah 17:9

Though we know that our hearts our deceitful, we still choose to follow its beatings. FOLLOW YOU HEART- that’s what the world tells us. Despite the fact that some of us are already re-evaluating the sense of the relationship we have or experiencing difficulties, we still tell ourselves “I’ll make it work!” You still believe that you can solve whatever is happening.

There was one such woman who became a victim of her wrong mindset with regards to relationships. Her story can be found in John 8.

The woman never thought that she would be one day be caught for her sin. During those days, adultery was one of the most spiteful offenses anyone can commit, especially if the suspect was a woman. She didn't take heed of this warning and instead, thought that maybe she could make her multiple relationships work. Unfortunately for her, she was caught by the Pharisees.

Anyone caught in committing adultery was sentenced to be stoned to death. The woman, realizing the heaviness of her mistake, probably became distraught. Too late! she must’ve said to herself. She was finally going to pay the consequences of her sin. The Pharisees brought her in their midst and she found herself being taunted and judged by the holy people.

She had never felt so ashamed in her life.

Her captors called out to a man within the circle.

“Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”

John 8:4-5

This is it. She was to be sentenced. The woman, who was only seeking love from men, was to die because of her search for love.

The Teacher did not speak but merely crouched on the ground and began to write with his finger. The people were confused with Him and they began to badger Him with the same question.

Finally, He stood up and said:

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

John 8:7

The woman awaited the first blow.

When she looked up, she saw her captors slowly walking away.

One by one, they left until it was only her and the Teacher. He stood up and for the first time, the woman found herself staring in the eyes of Jesus.

“Woman, where are they has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

John 8:11 a

Because she witnessed Him for what He was, the woman submitted herself to the Teacher, to Jesus Christ her Lord and Savior. What He said next must have brought her to tears-

“Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more...”

To the people, she was condemned.

But to the Savior, she was not.

You see, it is only in God can we find the love that we’re searching for. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't dive into relationships when we’re ready, it just means that while we’re still waiting, we should get our source of love from Him and He will provide exactly what we need. 

Offer your relationships to God. Ask Him to give you the right ONE at the right place in the right time. Trust that God knows what's best for you. After all, He is God.

If you give Him what you've got, be assured that he'll give you the SUPER that you deserve.

Written by: Ashley Bernadette Petallano (c) 2013