Stand Out: Standing Out Consistently

Stand Out 4

Standing Out Consistently

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Agatha Apolinario

It’s easy to say one thing, but it’s hard to live up to it.

In our world today, a lot of people are inconsistent. They have a hard time keeping their promises. Some even say one thing but do another.

As Christians, we proclaim our faith and love for God but oftentimes, it doesn’t show in our actions especially when the people around us persecute and make fun of us. Our world is composed of such worldly things—things the flesh desires which is why it’s difficult to live a consistently God-honoring life, and a life that consistently stands out.

Hard, isn’t it?

With that, we ask ourselves:

Is it really possible to live a life that stands out and is pleasing to God?

It pleased Darius to appoint 120 satraps to rule throughout the kingdom, with three administrators over them, one of whom was Daniel. The satraps were made accountable to them so that the king might not suffer loss. Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom. At this, the administrators and the satraps tried to find grounds for charges against Daniel in his conduct of government affairs, but they were unable to do so. They could find no corruption in him, because he was trustworthy and neither corrupt nor negligent.

Daniel 6:1-4

Daniel had such exceptional qualities that the King wanted him to become prime minister. The king admired him for his character and what he does. This made a lot of people jealous. He was envied by many. Some people even tried to find corruption in him. They tried to find anything that could be used against him, but they couldn’t, because Daniel was trustworthy. Because of this, the people who envied him resorted to one solution which they thought was the only way to attack Daniel—through his faith.

Finally these men said, “We will never find any basis for charges against this man Daniel unless it has something to do with the law of his God.”

Daniel 6:5

They made godliness against authority. They made praying and worshipping God a crime, because they thought that through this, they will be able to strike Daniel.

Yet, amidst all of this, Daniel didn’t conform to them. He remained as he is, even when everyone around him was corrupt. It was easier to compromise and to lash back, but Daniel stood out with his God-honoring response to trials and to the people who did him evil.

He continued to pray to God and give Him thanks.

Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.

Daniel 6:10

In reality, we face temptations everyday. It may be peer pressure, cheating in an exam, or conforming to worldly things.

Given this, how can we now stand out the way Daniel did?

How can Daniel’s STANDOUT lifestyle be real in our lives?

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want

Galatians 5:16-17

When you put your faith in God, the Holy Spirit comes in you.

We oftentimes misunderstand the Holy Spirit as a force. But you see, the Holy Spirit isn’t a force. It’s God. It’s a person that’s part of the Holy Trinity.

In Galatians 5:16-17, we are told to walk by the Spirit for us to not gratify the desires of the flesh. It’s like walking in a grassy garden when you follow the path in order to reach the end. In our lives, we should follow the path the Holy Spirit leads us to. When we do, we now have a new nature which is apart from our sinful nature. Because we are now being controlled by the Holy Spirit who is now living in us.

We shouldn’t take this in the wrong way. God tells us to do these things because He knows that these are what’s good for us. He does this because He cares. He’s doing this to PROTECT us because He knows nothing good will come to us if we conform to the world.

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,

Ephesians 5:18

Sin is like a chocolate-coated poop. It’s only pleasant at first but the longer it consumes you, the more it poisons you.

When we walk by the Spirit, He will empower and bless us to live a life that will not conform to the world, a life that will be set apart from the rest, a life that will STAND OUT. And we can be guaranteed that He will help us become victorious.

Let’s take a branch for example. Will it be able to bear fruit if it’s disconnected from the tree?

Of course not.

It needs the tree in order to bear fruit—to have a sense of purpose.

Like branches, we should stay connected to God, our tree, in order for us to bear fruit. Because that won’t be possible if we are separated from Him. This is the reason why it’s important that we spend some quality time with Him, hear His word, and open our hearts to Him.

You see, the enemy likes to fill our minds with lies. He would like us to think that when we sin, we can no longer come to God. But God is a very forgiving god. He doesn’t care of the things we did in the past, whether we did wrong or not, which is why we should forget about all the things we did, and focus on having an intimate relationship with Him now because all those things have already happened, there’s nothing we could do to take back time, all we could do is to ask for forgiveness and yield to Him.

Because it’s not about how much of God we have, but about how much of us He has.

Daniel stood up for God. He didn’t compromise nor did he lash back. He didn’t let the people around him change him because he knows that that wouldn’t please and honor God.

Daniel’s story would’ve still been a magnificent one even if the lions attacked him. It would have been an incredible story of a man’s strong faith in God. But God chose to show his power and magnificence when He didn’t let those lions touch Daniel.

No, not even a single scratch.

Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.”

Daniel 6:21-22

The King was so amazed with what has happened to Daniel that He issued a decree claiming that every part of his kingdom must fear God.

Then King Darius wrote to all the nations and peoples of every language in all the earth:

“May you prosper greatly!

26 “I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel.

“For he is the living God

    and he endures forever;

his kingdom will not be destroyed,

    his dominion will never end.”

Daniel 6:25-26

Daniel stood out for God. He let the world see how great and powerful God is.

Let’s live a life like Daniel’s, a life that walks by the Holy Spirit, a life that displays God’s honor and power, a life that STANDS OUT for God.

Hard? Yes, very

but NOT IMPOSSIBLE

Stand Out: Stand Out with Your Faith

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Stand Out With Your Faith

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Ashley Petallano

Have you ever been ditched?

We hate it when our friends swear they'd arrive at one place at this time then we go there and we find ourselves alone. Don't you just want to throw a silent tantrum when that happens?

Na-injan ka na ba?

We hate the feeling of being left behind, iniwan sa ere. We trust people to be faithful to their promises to us. When they say that they'll be at the meeting at exactly 4:00 in the afternoon, we expect them to arrive on time and not three hours late. When our friends tell us that they'll come support us during our defense, we expect to see them cheering for you and not seeing nothing but air right behind your professor as your knees wobble in fear.

Unfaithfulness is no longer new in our world. Husbands and wives separate because one of them has been unfaithful. It's a plague haunting us, destroying relationships and families.

Once upon a time, there were three men who beat the status quo- three men with radical faith. 

3 King Nebuchadnezzar made a gold statue ninety feet tall and nine feet wide[a] and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. 2 Then he sent messages to the high officers, officials, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates, and all the provincial officials to come to the dedication of the statue he had set up. 3 So all these officials[b]came and stood before the statue King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

Daniel 3:1-3

King Nebuchadnezzar had an image of himself built up so that the people would worship him. He saw himself as someone who deserved to be worshiped by his people. Verses 4 to 6  recounts how his herald spread the news that the image was to be worshiped by everyone and those who will not comply will be thrown into a blazing furnace.

So whenever the people heard the lyre and other musical instruments, they had to drop what they were doing and immediately bow down to the image.

You might ask: "What's the big deal, then?"

Nebuchadnezzar, though he was a king, was never a god. The worship he asked from the people was that of God's. He thought of himself higher than God, which is a big no-no. If the people obeyed to his decree, then they worship Nebuchadnezzar as a god.

However, three special men believed otherwise.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were among the young men the King had taken to Babylon for service. These three men loved the Lord with their heart. They knew that if they bowed to the image, they would be unfaithful to God. So, despite the punishment they could face, they refused to obey. 

Word got out of their rebellion. Nebuchadnezzar was furious when he heard of it.

13 Then Nebuchadnezzar flew into a rage and ordered that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego be brought before him. When they were brought in, 14 Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you refuse to serve my gods or to worship the gold statue I have set up? 15 I will give you one more chance to bow down and worship the statue I have made when you hear the sound of the musical instruments.[f] But if you refuse, you will be thrown immediately into the blazing furnace. And then what god will be able to rescue you from my power?”

Daniel 3:13-15

The king threatened Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. If they didn't obey him, they would burn in the furnace.

We too face persecution. They don't necessarily have to be fiery furnaces, sometimes it's the circumstances we find ourselves in. If we follow Christ, we do not follow the ways of this world. We don't party like it's the end of the world nor do we drink ourselves silly. We try not to swear to gossip about other people. We don't do what the world wants us to do.

When we don't, we are taunted or pressured to do so. People will consistently push us to just go along with the flow, to take part with the 'joys' of the world- to eat, drink and be merry, to party hard and all that.

When you're faced with a choice, what do you do? Do you stay faithful to God? or otherwise?

16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. 18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”

Daniel 3:16-18

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego chose not to conform. Though it would cause them their lives, they stood firm of their faith and bravely told the king that they will never worship any other image. They knew God, they knew He was the real thing. On the other hand, they barely knew Nebuchadnezzar. 

How about you?

Do you know God?

Christianity is not a religion, it's a love relationship between God and man. It's God's unconditional love for sinners that caused Him to send His one and only Son to die for us. If you really know who God is, it is essential that we will have faiths that stand out. 

The radical trio were then sent to die in the burning furnace. Now, the furnace wasn't a small-scale bonfire. It was a huge wildfire. Because he was so furious with the three, Nebuchadnezzar ordered the furnace to be heated seven times hotter than the usual. He also ordered the strongest of men to tie them up. Because of the intense heat, even these men died. 

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were to be killed because of their faith. Before they knew it, they were thrown in.

Everyday, there are Christians who are killed for their faith. Others are not killed, but persecuted all the same. Some of us are teased in school for being a Christian. We can't even bring out our Bibles out of fear of being taunted. But we always have to keep in mind that God is bigger than these people. Our faith in Him means a big deal for Him because let's face it, He has always been faithful.

By this time, the radical three were dead men to the audience. Nebuchadnezzar must've thought that he was successful at teaching the people a lesson: don't worship my rules, you burn. However...

24 But suddenly, Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in amazement and exclaimed to his advisers, “Didn’t we tie up three men and throw them into the furnace?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, we certainly did,” they replied.

25 “Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god

Daniel 3:24-25

They made it out alive!

By some miracle, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego survived the burning furnace.

Biblical scholars have said that the fourth man the trio were with was Jesus. This was before He was sent to Earth to redeem mankind. The people were astounded at what they had seen, even the king could not believe his own eyes.

God knew what He was doing all along. 

26 Then Nebuchadnezzar came as close as he could to the door of the flaming furnace and shouted: “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

Daniel 3:26

Nebuchadnezzar finally acknowledged the power of the trio's Lord. Such feat caused a pagan king to believe in God.

Testing and trials are allowed our way are not intended to do us harm. They were meant to strengthen us, to mold our character. Haven't  you noticed that you learn something after every challenge? We are being shaped into better beings. Also, trials pave the way for God's glory. He uses us to radiate His glory to the others who cannot see, just like how Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did with Nebuchadnezzar.

We should learn to trust God's character and not just His power. We musn't doubt His intentions. Instead, we should remain faithful, continually believing that He has something better in store for us. 

Faith anchored in God stands out. Stand out and show everyone that your God is none like any other. 

Stand Out: Standing Out in the Midst of Trials

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Standing Out In the Midst of Trials 

Message by Jeremy Sanchez

Written by Ana Andres

While this earth is painted with vibrant colors, humanity’s endeavor to fit in and become accepted by its people almost make this bright world grow dim. Everybody seeks to live up to the world’s standards and later do we realize, we’ve painted the earth a lifeless color. 

Today, we live in a world with such chronic epidemics of corruption, cheating, lies, and the like. We resolve to these things when faced with an impediment. Sadly and disturbingly, this has become the “norm”. In order to stand out in a conflicting situation, we have to be a fruit loop in a bowl of cheerios, a wise quote says. 

Yes, we have to defy the norm. God created us to be different. He made us to become salt and light to others and he has set us apart to be holy.

Now what is the right response when faced with trials?

Let’s take a look at a trial Daniel experienced;

“In the second year of his reign, Nebuchadnezzar had dreams; his mind was troubled and he could not sleep. So the king summoned the magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers to tell him what he had dreamed. When they came in and stood before the king, he said to them, “I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means”.” 

Daniel 2:1-3

Usually these magicians and enchanters are able to give some sort of interpretation to dreams for as long as they knew about it but because they didn’t know the dream at all and was a matter of fact tasked to determine what the dream was, in the following verses, it said that the enchanters failed to do this task and believed that no one on earth can do what the king asks. Because the king’s dreams were prophetic dreams from God, only a servant of the Lord will be able to interpret this.

“This made the king so angry and furious that he ordered the execution of all the wise men of Babylon. So the decree was issued to put the wise men to death, and men were sent to look for Daniel and his friends to put them to death. When Arioch, the commander of the king’s guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with wisdom and tact. He asked the king’s officer, “Why did the king issue such a harsh decree?” Arioch then explained the matter to Daniel.  At this, Daniel went in to the king and asked for time, so that he might interpret the dream for him.” 

Daniel 2: 12-16

Now this was the adversity that Daniel had to face. He was threatened to be killed and yet he responded with boldness. Imagine having to confront an irritable king who just ordered for your execution. This takes a lot of courage and faith. Other people who must have been put in his situation would have probably attempted to flee. After all, what the kings asks of was something almost impossible to do but Daniel faced this nonetheless and believed confidently that God will be able to deliver him from it. 

God will not give us trials we can not overcome and in order to face this, we have to look at it as an opportunity to grow in Christ. Just like Daniel’s trial, this provided him an opportunity to trust God. 

When we are faced with trials, do we consult with God and ask Him for wisdom? Or do we already have our own plans in mind? As for Daniel, he asked God for wisdom and chose to trust solely in Him and because he did..

“Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell prostrate before Daniel and paid him honor and ordered that an offering and incense be presented to him. The king said to Daniel, “Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery”.Then the king placed Daniel in a high position and lavished many gifts on him. He made him ruler over the entire province of Babylon and placed him in charge of all its wise men. Moreover, at Daniel’s request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon, while Daniel himself remained at the royal court.” 

Daniel 2:46-49

Not only was it his faith that grew, he also inspired the King to believe and praise our Lord and on top of all of that, he was greatly blessed. Blessings also come in the form of trials and for that, we should rejoice at this wonderful opportunity. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” 

James 1:2-4

Trust in God, depend on Him fully.

And see for yourself how He’ll lift you up to STAND OUT.

Stand Out: Standing Out

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Standing Out

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Ashley Petallano

STAND OUT.

What does that mean?

To simply just stand outside?

Standing out can simply mean being the difference. It's being noticed for something that makes you remarkable or...just different. 

If there ever was a person who knew more about standing out, that was Daniel.

Take a look at his story:

In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia and put in the treasure house of his god. Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility— young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

Daniel 1:1-5

Jehoiakim was the essence of evil. He was scheming and a traitor- he decided to switch sides when he thought that Nebuchadnezzar would lose the battle. Such character proved him not to be worthy of the latter's trust, which lead to Nebuchadnezzar seizing the chance to defeat the evil king.

Obviously, with the Lord's hand, he won.

God allowed Judah to fall captive due to their ignorance of Him. They had fallen to idolatry, forgotten the true God. So He taught them a lesson. 

Nebuchadnezzar decided to take with him the best of their men, to be used for his services. In doing so, he pushed these young men to three years of training to erase any hint of their Judean heritage, making them as Babylonian as they could be. They were taught the culture, social relations and basically the need-to-knows.

It's some sort of re-culturing. Imagine yourself being given a makeover. If you wanted to look more like a Korean popstar, your eyes would be transformed. The make-up would make your eyes smaller, your skin fairer and smoother!

Some of these young men underwent transformation, more than just simple make-up. They would forget Judea and start becoming Babylonians.

In the bunch, there were four special men.

Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

 Daniel 1:6-7

Daniel and his three friends were ordered to be given new identities. Even their names had to be changed in order to stay in line with the Babylonians beliefs. You see, these young men's names were all God-names, as we can call it. 

Daniel- God is my judge

Hananiah - Yahweh is gracious

Mishael - Who is like God

Azariah - Yahweh is a helper

The Babylonians wanted to erase any trace of God in these boys. So, they were given new names dedicated to other gods.

Beltheshazzar - for Bel, an idol. (Daniel)

Shadrach - The command of Aku, another idol (Hananiah)

Meshach - Who is like Aku? (Mishael)

Abednego - the servant of Nebo (Azariah)

They were stamped once given a new identity.

Society shapes our beliefs. Lady Gaga firmly insists that we should embrace whatever we are-- girl, boy, gay or not-- because that's who you are. The world tells you that you are this free being who is in command of your life and can really forget God because...you don't need Him.

Your behavior will now follow because this your understanding of who you are.

Daniel and his friends were slowly being melded into the Babylonian society. They were being conformed and began to slowly fade into the background...no longer standing out.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are we no different from the world?

Some of us claim that we are Christians yet our lives say otherwise. We constantly party with our friends in order to look cool, we swear just for them to see that we aren't lame. Some boys will just catch any girl they like so they can prove to their friends that they're chick magnets.

How do you relate to others? How do you study?

Do you stand out? Or are you one of them?

These four men were offered the finest of food, ones served for the king. At first, we might say: "What's bad about that? It's just food!" The food was somehow a lure for these young gents to slowly embrace their new society.

Delicious as they might have been, Daniel chose to do otherwise.

But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.

Daniel 1:8

RESOLVED- fixed, determined.

Daniel was determined in his heart that he will not conform to these people.

We face situations that sometimes can bend our stands. Some of us stand in the honor roll and once our spots are threatened, we cannot help but cheat just to stay. For those college students who are nearing their deadlines (especially thesis!), plagiarizing someone else's work sounds like an easier option.

We defile ourselves when we want something.

Daniel resolved not to be one of them. Though the food was tempting, he decided to turn his back.

We should follow his example. As tempting as the ways of the world may be, we should choose to stand out, to be different. When we resolve to do everything for Christ, we decide to keep our word, to be good stewards and reliable followers of His. 

Instead of becoming a Babylonian and turning his face away from God, Daniel chose to stand out. 

Standing out is a choice. It's not an automatic thing. It's a deliberate conscious decision!

"Why? Why should I stand out?"

Why do we have to obey God? Why should we attend an Elevate group, not cheat, not commit sexual immorality and all that?

Why stand out?

First and foremost, Christianity is not a fad. It's not a set of rules or religious systems. It's not intended to just be head knowledge. If you say you're a Christian but you're just doing what you have to do because you know you have to do it, or you just want to get something from God, that is just religion.

Why then should we do all these 'good' things?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. 

Romans 12:1-2

Christianity is not a ritual, regulation or a religion. It's a response to what Jesus did on the cross two thousand years ago. 

It was never meant to just be stocked in the head and forgotten. We were separated by sin because of the fall of man when Adam and Eve took a bite from that fruit. We were doomed to hell but God chose to send Jesus to suffer in our place. The reconciliation provided by his death would result into genuine transformation.

In other words, when a person experiences the love, grace and forgiveness of God, his life will change. It will STAND OUT.

Jesus did say in John 14:23 that anyone who loves Him obeys His teachings. 

We're not talking about a perfect lifestyle, sin makes it impossible for us to be perfect. We will fall sometimes but if we dedicate our lives to God and obey as much as we could, there will be an undeniable distinction between us and the world. 

We should stand out as a response to God's love.

Daniel responded to that love. And look at how it rewarded him:

At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead. To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds. At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king’s service. In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus. 

Daniel 1:15-21

They did not compromise just to achieve success. They did it God's way and they proved it was the best way. The Lord blessed them for their devotion.

They stood out.

How about you?

Are you willing to stand out?

Heart Beats: The Path to Marriage

Heartbeats 3

The Path to Marriage

Message by Marty Ocaya

Written by Aggy Apolinario

There’s something about weddings that give us the chills. Is it the bride? The groom? The reception? The guests?

Or is it the idea that the two people being wedded is a step closer to spending the rest of their lives together?

Yeah, probably that.

All of us has that desire for marriage. Some probably even daydream about their future husbands or wives. It’s something that’s very common for us to think of.

Having someone by your side through thick or thin, through richer or poorer? Isn’t that just ideal?

We want to get married. (Yes, we really do.) And although many do, only few come prepared.

In marriage, it is not like taking a bus ride home where you can just step inside and enjoy the ride. It takes the right person, the right time, and the right way.

Our hearts are deceitful. It can cause us to make decisions that would do us no good which is why we should not trust it or put it as the basis for our choices.

The heart is deceitful above all thingsand beyond cure.Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Marriage isn’t something that happens in a snap. Nor should it even happen that way. That’s why we should come prepared. We shouldn’t let our hearts deceive us. Let’s put our trust on God instead and take His path.

Are you in the right path?

Let’s first ask yourself these five questions to know if you are.

1. Why do you want to be in a relationship?

Some people often enter a relationship for the wrong reasons. It may be because of their insecurities, facebook status, or sex. But relationships aren’t about all those things. It’s about something WAY more than those.

Because in a relationship, you invest feelings. That’s why it’s important to know why you even want to be in that relationship because when the reason’s not right, you’ll just end up hurting yourself and your partner. It cannot be because you just wanted to be labeled as someone in a relationship or because you didn’t want to be left behind by your friends who aren’t single.

Relationship isn’t a game where you can easily say game over. It’s not something that you start or end when you feel like it.

Remember, any relationship without direction usually leads to heartbreak. And who would want to end up hurting? No one, right?

2. Am I ready?

Are you ready mentally?

Are you finished with your studies?

Being in a relationship and being a student doesn’t always coincide with each other. It’s difficult to have these two at the same time because relationships aren’t always about the flowers, teddy bears, and the chocolates. There will always come a time when you and your partner will have misunderstandings. And these can be distractions to your studies which is why you should learn how to prioritize. A relationship cannot be right if it’s already becoming a distraction because it should be a support, not a hindrance.

Are you ready emotionally?

Are you ready to leave your family and start a new one?

Relationships are commitments. You should be sure that when you enter one, you’re already prepared to what it has in store for you. It includes starting a new life with your partner.

Leaving your family doesn’t mean that you erase them from your life entirely. No, of course not. It just means that when you enter a relationship, you somehow let go of your family to give way to the one you’re starting, with your partner.

You should know that you are no longer just a daughter to your parents, or a sibling to your brothers and sisters, but a partner to your partner.

Are you ready financially?

Do you have enough savings? Do you earn enough?

When you enter a relationship, you’re no longer an I but a We. You must know the responsibilities you have. Starting a family follows on when you’re in a relationship, and it is just right that you are capable enough to provide for your family. It’s such a big responsibility, isn’t it? This is the reason why you should be prepared.

Are you ready spiritually?

Are you complete as a single person in the Lord?

If you’re trying to enter a relationship because you think that person would complete you, then you’re going to be disappointed because people are imperfect. They’re not capable enough to fill the missing hole in your life. You don’t need any person to do that for you because God is there for that. He is the ONLY one who can complete you.

When you enter a relationship, you have to be sure that you, yourself, are complete because God didn’t mean for two people to be together to fill each other’s lives. But instead, He wanted these two people to complete their own lives in Him individually, and be together. He didn’t want two incomplete hearts to combine and make one whole heart. He wanted two whole hearts to join and become one.

3. How do I know if he or she is the one?

Do you feel attracted to the person? Do you have that “kilig feeling” when you’re with him or her? You often feel all giddy and lovey dovey. Some even say that they feel butterflies in their stomachs. Well, all these are just normal when you like someone.

The attraction or the connection may be there, but that’s not enough.

You should also know the person better.

We have Titus 3:1-9 for guidance in helping us picture a Godly man, and 1 Timothy 3:11 and Proverbs 31 for a Godly woman.

Getting to know the person is very important especially if he or she will be your future partners. You should know their qualities, their relationships with their families and friends, their views and beliefs because these things will show you whether this person is really the right one for you.

You should know his or her direction in life because this person may be the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. There should be acceptance and support between the both of you.

There will always be people who will try to interfere with your relationship. It’s inevitable. In a way, their opinions are important because this will let you know how other people see your partner. You should ask for their advices and see whether you are making a right decision in entering the relationship.

You should also get your parents involved. They have experienced things you haven’t which is why they have more or less the knowledge of what awaits you when you enter a relationship. This way, they’ll be able to help you make the right decision. Trust you parents’ opinion and their parental instincts because they, like God, would want only what’s best for you.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

4. Are making a decision because you know and believe it’s right, or because you want it to be right?

When you enter a relationship, you should ask yourself “why am I making this decision?”.

We often misinterpret our feelings as a sign to determine whether or not our relationships are right. We think that since we like the person, and that all the feelings are already there, it’s a good justification that it is just right to enter the relationship. But you see, emotions are meant to be evaluated. Just because you feel it’s right, doesn’t mean that it is.

Some may even argue that it’s because they’re afraid that if they don’t take action immediately, the person they like might get snatched away by someone else.

Well, if he or she really is God’s best for you, you must believe and have faith that even if you’re against a million people, that person would still end up with you.

5. Do I see God’s hand guiding me in this relationship?

This is the last and the most important question that you should ask yourself.

When things don’t go the way they’re supposed to be, we often think that we can make it work ourselves. We think that we don’t need God. But you see, we are lost without Him. He must be the one whom we call for help because even before we say it, He already knows.

He knows what is best for us. He would NEVER want us to make decisions that would do us no good. This is the reason why we should put our trust in Him and ask for His guidance. When we let Him interfere, we could be rest assured that nothing can possibly go wrong.

“I the Lord search the heartand examine the mind,to reward each person according to their conduct,according to what their deeds deserve.”

Jeremiah 17:10

God’s guidance is all we need to know what is right for us. He is the only one whom we can fully depend on.

A relationship isn’t something that we must rush. It takes the right timing, the right heart, and the right path. God wants us to have nothing but the best. All we have to do is listen to what He has to say, to become aware whether this is what pleases Him, and to follow the path He has for us. Because when we do these, there would be no worries or doubts in our minds, but instead, there’ll be security and assurance.