Heart Beats: The Path to Marriage

Heartbeats 3

The Path to Marriage

Message by Marty Ocaya

Written by Aggy Apolinario

There’s something about weddings that give us the chills. Is it the bride? The groom? The reception? The guests?

Or is it the idea that the two people being wedded is a step closer to spending the rest of their lives together?

Yeah, probably that.

All of us has that desire for marriage. Some probably even daydream about their future husbands or wives. It’s something that’s very common for us to think of.

Having someone by your side through thick or thin, through richer or poorer? Isn’t that just ideal?

We want to get married. (Yes, we really do.) And although many do, only few come prepared.

In marriage, it is not like taking a bus ride home where you can just step inside and enjoy the ride. It takes the right person, the right time, and the right way.

Our hearts are deceitful. It can cause us to make decisions that would do us no good which is why we should not trust it or put it as the basis for our choices.

The heart is deceitful above all thingsand beyond cure.Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Marriage isn’t something that happens in a snap. Nor should it even happen that way. That’s why we should come prepared. We shouldn’t let our hearts deceive us. Let’s put our trust on God instead and take His path.

Are you in the right path?

Let’s first ask yourself these five questions to know if you are.

1. Why do you want to be in a relationship?

Some people often enter a relationship for the wrong reasons. It may be because of their insecurities, facebook status, or sex. But relationships aren’t about all those things. It’s about something WAY more than those.

Because in a relationship, you invest feelings. That’s why it’s important to know why you even want to be in that relationship because when the reason’s not right, you’ll just end up hurting yourself and your partner. It cannot be because you just wanted to be labeled as someone in a relationship or because you didn’t want to be left behind by your friends who aren’t single.

Relationship isn’t a game where you can easily say game over. It’s not something that you start or end when you feel like it.

Remember, any relationship without direction usually leads to heartbreak. And who would want to end up hurting? No one, right?

2. Am I ready?

Are you ready mentally?

Are you finished with your studies?

Being in a relationship and being a student doesn’t always coincide with each other. It’s difficult to have these two at the same time because relationships aren’t always about the flowers, teddy bears, and the chocolates. There will always come a time when you and your partner will have misunderstandings. And these can be distractions to your studies which is why you should learn how to prioritize. A relationship cannot be right if it’s already becoming a distraction because it should be a support, not a hindrance.

Are you ready emotionally?

Are you ready to leave your family and start a new one?

Relationships are commitments. You should be sure that when you enter one, you’re already prepared to what it has in store for you. It includes starting a new life with your partner.

Leaving your family doesn’t mean that you erase them from your life entirely. No, of course not. It just means that when you enter a relationship, you somehow let go of your family to give way to the one you’re starting, with your partner.

You should know that you are no longer just a daughter to your parents, or a sibling to your brothers and sisters, but a partner to your partner.

Are you ready financially?

Do you have enough savings? Do you earn enough?

When you enter a relationship, you’re no longer an I but a We. You must know the responsibilities you have. Starting a family follows on when you’re in a relationship, and it is just right that you are capable enough to provide for your family. It’s such a big responsibility, isn’t it? This is the reason why you should be prepared.

Are you ready spiritually?

Are you complete as a single person in the Lord?

If you’re trying to enter a relationship because you think that person would complete you, then you’re going to be disappointed because people are imperfect. They’re not capable enough to fill the missing hole in your life. You don’t need any person to do that for you because God is there for that. He is the ONLY one who can complete you.

When you enter a relationship, you have to be sure that you, yourself, are complete because God didn’t mean for two people to be together to fill each other’s lives. But instead, He wanted these two people to complete their own lives in Him individually, and be together. He didn’t want two incomplete hearts to combine and make one whole heart. He wanted two whole hearts to join and become one.

3. How do I know if he or she is the one?

Do you feel attracted to the person? Do you have that “kilig feeling” when you’re with him or her? You often feel all giddy and lovey dovey. Some even say that they feel butterflies in their stomachs. Well, all these are just normal when you like someone.

The attraction or the connection may be there, but that’s not enough.

You should also know the person better.

We have Titus 3:1-9 for guidance in helping us picture a Godly man, and 1 Timothy 3:11 and Proverbs 31 for a Godly woman.

Getting to know the person is very important especially if he or she will be your future partners. You should know their qualities, their relationships with their families and friends, their views and beliefs because these things will show you whether this person is really the right one for you.

You should know his or her direction in life because this person may be the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. There should be acceptance and support between the both of you.

There will always be people who will try to interfere with your relationship. It’s inevitable. In a way, their opinions are important because this will let you know how other people see your partner. You should ask for their advices and see whether you are making a right decision in entering the relationship.

You should also get your parents involved. They have experienced things you haven’t which is why they have more or less the knowledge of what awaits you when you enter a relationship. This way, they’ll be able to help you make the right decision. Trust you parents’ opinion and their parental instincts because they, like God, would want only what’s best for you.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Ephesians 6:1-3

4. Are making a decision because you know and believe it’s right, or because you want it to be right?

When you enter a relationship, you should ask yourself “why am I making this decision?”.

We often misinterpret our feelings as a sign to determine whether or not our relationships are right. We think that since we like the person, and that all the feelings are already there, it’s a good justification that it is just right to enter the relationship. But you see, emotions are meant to be evaluated. Just because you feel it’s right, doesn’t mean that it is.

Some may even argue that it’s because they’re afraid that if they don’t take action immediately, the person they like might get snatched away by someone else.

Well, if he or she really is God’s best for you, you must believe and have faith that even if you’re against a million people, that person would still end up with you.

5. Do I see God’s hand guiding me in this relationship?

This is the last and the most important question that you should ask yourself.

When things don’t go the way they’re supposed to be, we often think that we can make it work ourselves. We think that we don’t need God. But you see, we are lost without Him. He must be the one whom we call for help because even before we say it, He already knows.

He knows what is best for us. He would NEVER want us to make decisions that would do us no good. This is the reason why we should put our trust in Him and ask for His guidance. When we let Him interfere, we could be rest assured that nothing can possibly go wrong.

“I the Lord search the heartand examine the mind,to reward each person according to their conduct,according to what their deeds deserve.”

Jeremiah 17:10

God’s guidance is all we need to know what is right for us. He is the only one whom we can fully depend on.

A relationship isn’t something that we must rush. It takes the right timing, the right heart, and the right path. God wants us to have nothing but the best. All we have to do is listen to what He has to say, to become aware whether this is what pleases Him, and to follow the path He has for us. Because when we do these, there would be no worries or doubts in our minds, but instead, there’ll be security and assurance.

Heart Beats: Friends With Benefits? (Blurred Lines)

Heart Beats 2

Friends With Benefits?

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Ashley Petallano

Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines is a certified head bopper.

Just as the opening tune plays, most of us are ready to groove, especially to those 'Hey, hey, hey' parts. 

Blurred Lines was such a popular and well-loved song, it managed to reach the top charts and was hailed as one of the best pop songs conceived during 2013. But despite the head-bopping tune, do we know what the song is trying to tell us?

Let's take a closer look:

OK, now he was close

tried to domesticate you

But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature

Just let me liberate you

The song's practically telling us that we should go all the way when it comes to SEX.

Yep, there's no point beating around the bush.

Thicke's encourages us, especially the girls, to let go of being the goody-two shoe and just go with flow. Besides, you are an animal, according to the song. Being domesticated like a good dog at home is boring! Be the wild sex-driven animal that you are and just go for it! He even sings in the chorus that no matter how much we deny it, we know we want it.

We live in a sex-saturated society. No longer are we surprised to see gigantic billboards of scantily-clad women endorsing cars or alcoholic beverages. The movies and TV series we watch treat premarital sex as if it's a part of everyday living already. We've already gotten so used to it that we are ignorant of the real deal.

What does God have to say?

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13

There are two reasons why sexual immorality won't work:

1. IT AIN'T GOOD FOR YOU

A little background on Corinth-

Corinth was the Las Vegas during the apostle Paul's time. A thousand prostitutes roamed the streets. Some of them even filled their 'church,' used to worship the gods through sexual intercourse. Paul was reminding those Christians living in such environment to stay firm and with that, he also reminded them that not everything is good for them.

It's true: we can do anything we want. Nothing or no one can stop us.

But that doesn't mean that everything we do is good for us.

It's just like the case with fatty foods. There's nothing wrong with eating lechon kawali, chicharon, burgers and the lot. But it's common knowledge that if we eat such food everyday, we are most likely to go to heaven earlier than expected. 

There's nothing wrong with sex.

Yes, you read right.

In fact, it was God who designed sex. He knew that humans would need such physical intimacy that He decided to allow it. There's nothing shameful about it.

Just do it God's way, meaning...in the context of marriage.

Yup. God designed sex for married people. 

If we don't put sex in the context God intended for it to be, we're basically messing up with the design, becoming a slave to our carnal desires. Our bodies were made by God and therefore, they are for Him. What Robin Thicke says, about us having no control like animals, is a lie. We can, that's why we have brains. 

3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body[a] and live in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. 6 Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife,[b] for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7

It's not being KJ or legalistic when we're being warned against premarital sex. 

When a parent pulls his baby away from an electric socket, is that legalism?

It's called love.  

God's not a cosmic killyjoy, always wanting to make you miserable. He loves you, that's why He doesn't want you to get hurt. 

2. SEX IS POWERFUL

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.

1 Corinthians 6:15-16

Is sex truly just a physical matter?

Of course not!

Imagine two pieces of paper glued together. Then rip it apart.

The paper, as you notice, can never be whole again.

As much as some of us deny it, there will always be something emotional attached to the sex. Once it's all over, there's a part of you that's ripped off. 

Girls, when a guy or your boy friend tells you that if you love them you should have sex with them, well they can forget about it. THAT IS NOT LOVE. That just tells you he's after one thing: your body. True love honors God, therefore, honors you. 

So, how do we protect ourselves, girls and boys alike?

- RUN!

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

1 Corinthians 6:18

Girls, don't cause the guys to disrespect you. Boys are turned on visually and physically. If you want to be respected, it's about time you watch how you dress and act around them. Don't be surprised when they try to do something funny and you realize you're wearing the shortest skirt possible.

Guys, when temptation comes around, don't just stare at it. RUN! Just get away from anything that arouses you. FLEE!

For the both us, we should set boundaries. We think it's just a touch, just a hug, just a kiss but little do we know, it will lead to something more. There ain't such things as accidents- everything happens because we allow them to. 

- REALIZE THAT GOD OWNS YOUR BODY

19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You are not your own.

Our bodies are our temporary shelters while we're still on earth. We don't own them permanently. God made us therefore, our bodies are His. We should be mindful of this body He lent us by taking care of it and not just allowing anyone to do whatever they want with it.

Give yourself some respect. 

You are special in the eyes of God and you should care for yourself because He made you. Use your body in ways that are pleasing to Him.

So, before you give in to anything, you have to realize that you are not your own. You're not an animal that can go berserk any time as Robin Thicke claims. Guys and girls should treat each other with respect, especially when they're not ready for marriage. It's best not  to BLUR THE LINES. 

Heart Beats: What IS Love? (Clarity)

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What IS Love?

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Ana Andres

Music is a big part of our lives. It sets the vibe and brings liveliness. Just try to imagine life without music. It would be so dull, wouldn’t it? But it just isn’t an atmosphere-setter nor is it just for entertainment. Music is actually powerful. 

According to Taylor Swift, “the truth of it is that every singer out there with songs on the radio is raising the next generation. So make your words count”. Music is that influential in people’s lives. Perhaps we think that we really just listen to music for the sake of its enjoyment; listen to the melody but  never felt that we live out a song’s lyrics. Little do we realize that the words we hear sink deeply in to our minds and this subconsciously embeds in our values and way of thinking. 

The same goes with love songs... And how is it that in spite of our deep knowledge with love songs, many young people sadly end up in broken relationships? 

There are so many love songs out there and they all interpret love differently and inevitably, it leaves us asking, “what is love really?”.

One of the chart-topping love songs of 2013 was Clarity by Zedd and Foxes, 

How can it not flip the charts? With lyrics that strikes where it hurts the most ("You are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need," "If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?"), the young generation can't help but bop their heads and pattern their love life after such a song. 

If love is insanity, why else is he or she your clarity?

What is love, really?

We look to so many sources to ask what love is but rarely do we go to God and ask Him what it truly is. But this is what God says, in John chapter 3, Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. This is how we know what love is. We go back to the Cross. This is the ultimate standard. With that said, here are two defining characteristics of love based on the Cross;

REAL LOVE IS GOD HONORING.

When Jesus Christ died for all of our sins on the cross, this was the greatest public display of affection, and it honored God. If we don’t understand this and have not genuinely felt this love in our life, we may not be able to translate this in our own relationships. 

Because God loved us and because we love Him, we will choose to honor Him. Despite all the hardships, the temptations and bewildering emotions, real love will choose to do what is right in the eyes of God. Just like Jesus, despite the agony and suffering he had to go through, because He loved God and because He loved us, He chose to die on the cross to redeem us. 

Therefore when your relationship causes you to lie, when it causes you to compromise your relationship with God and worse when it causes you to put God as second in your heart, ask yourself, do you think this “love” is honoring God?

REAL LOVE IS SELFLESS AND SACRIFICIAL.

In Philippians 2:5-6 God says, “In your relationship with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness”.

Aside from the sacrifice that Jesus Christ did on the cross, He also sacrificed the glory He had with the Father. He chose to humble down by assuming a human body and a human nature in order to lovingly serve us all and so that He can die in our place. 

Now, this is real love. 

If we want to love genuinely then we ought love like this; selfless and sacrificial. 

But it's not easy. 

Naturally, we our selfish people. It’s all about us, it’s all about me and sometimes we even think that what we do for others is solely for their own good but we do this to gain something in return. When we “sacrifice” things for others, we sometimes seek recognition. When we “forgive”, sometimes it’s only because we’ve been so emotionally attached that we would feel so broken without the person. There are conditions and they point to our needs. 

That is not selfless and sacrificial. It says in 1 Corinthians 13: 6-7:

 “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Our relationships should not be about one’s self, one’s partner nor both. Ultimately, our relationships must point to God. 

Real love equals the Cross and sadly many of us don’t understand this. Many of us don’t realize the gravity of our sins. We sometimes feel that our sins are nothing but minor and hence does not deserve such a grave punishment. Others perhaps feel that being a mere human validates it-- validates being a sinner. We don’t realize that though we may be physically alive, we have become spiritually dead because of all these and we look to many things in order to fill that “missing piece”, often in relationships. We are merely surviving but there really is no genuine living. And God saw all of that and sent His one and only Son to die on the Cross so that we may live. If only we receive Him in our lives and surrender to Him, we will understand what real love is and from there, all the other things follow. 

Love is not just a feeling. It's not some Greek tragedy. It is clarity in a way, but not in the matter we know.

To be honest, God's love is insane. Why love people who do not want to obey You at all? 

Because God's love is unbelievably amazing and it's something we don't deserve. But He gives it to us freely so we can give it to those who need to see who He is, to find their clarity. 

THAT is real LOVE. 

Radical: Trust in God's Power

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Trust in God's Power

Message by Daniel Carandang

Written by Ashley Petallano

We've all had our share of worries that seemed too impossible. 

You've probably got that paper that's due tomorrow but your professor just gave it TODAY. And it ain't the typical 1 pager. Nope, it's 10 pages. 

Mom and Dad are constantly fighting nowadays and it seems as if peace can never be achieved inside your home.

Your sister seems to have made it her mission not to like you forever and you're always trying to make amends or to get her attention but she doesn't reciprocate.

You're nursing a broken heart from a failed relationship. It's been a year but it's like the pain won't ever go away.

Enrollment's tomorrow...you have no money.

With all these things happening to you, you just can't help but feel so worried and stressed. You ask God for help but it seems as if He's not there. And you just don't know what's next.

A pair of sisters had the same dilemma during Jesus' time. 

11 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” 5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days.

John 11:1-6

Mary, Martha and Lazarus were amongst the closest of Jesus' friends, kinda like your BFFs or best buds. There was no doubt that they loved Jesus and Jesus loved them equally. So when Lazarus fell ill, it was only expected of Jesus to come to His friend's aid IMMEDIATELY. 

Except He didn't. 

He stayed where He was for 2 more days. 

Can you imagine how the other three felt?

That feeling of abandonment, of God not listening...it's quite familiar to most of us. 

Have you ever reached a point where you asked God: "Where were You when I needed You?"

Misfortunes, trials and challenges always surround us. We have parents who fight with each other endlessly, siblings who act as if they're always above us, academic work that seems very unreasonable, classmates who pick on us day and night, etc. There are even much worse scenarios: teenage girls being molested by their own family members, kids orphaned at an early age, financial crisis bringing troubles to a family and the likes.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Sometimes, it doesn't make sense. It makes us think of God as careless for not responding during the time we needed Him. It can reach a point where we just assume that because He has so many children, God has forgotten and doesn't love us anymore. 

But let's pause for a moment and realize this:

The quickness of God's response should not be the basis of His love for you.

In John 11:4, Jesus explains to His disciples why He decided not to go immediately. 

4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”

Something incredible was about to happen but not during that time. It was an opportunity for Jesus to show who He was, who His Father was. He had a plan but it was in His time. 

And so as the story goes, Jesus eventually visited the three siblings. Unfortunately, Lazarus was already dead. An anguished Martha meets Him along the way:

21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

John 11:21-22

Martha couldn't help but express her grief and disappointment from her brother's death and Jesus' lateness but despite that, she knew that Jesus had His purpose. She believed in what he could possibly do.

Same goes for us.

We should know that we serve a God Almighty.

Though He knows what we're going through, we should still tell Him what's happening. That's why Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. A TWO-WAY RELATIONSHIP. You're talking to your heavenly Dad. You can tell Him how you feel about the situation and ask what's next.

Even though it looks like you've lost, you don't lose faith in God. 

Remember, you haven't seen the whole picture yet and He has.

Trust in God's character, not just His power. 

Despite Lazarus being dead, Jesus insisted to see the former's tomb. There were lots of talk behind His back, asking why He was unable to heal Lazarus when He was known for healing blind men and making lame men walk. This troubled Jesus as He headed to a dear friend's tomb.

33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him,[f] and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?”

John 11:33-40

He was telling them that now was the time for His glory to be revealed.

Faith is not knowledge. It is trust in what you do not see. What He's basically telling Martha in verse 40 is: "Trust Me and you will see My glory."

He asked the men to roll the stone away. Though He could've done it on His own, Jesus wanted man's effort in it. Next, He called out his dead friend. 

Sure enough, the once dead Lazarus came to life.

What seemed to be the most impossible thing occured right in front of their eyes.

Those who witnessed this miracle were opened to the reality of Jesus and in turn, believed in Him.

The story of Lazarus speaks in volumes to those of us who seek miracles in our life. There are dozens of them. Families that need restoring, lives that need repairing, grades that need resurrecting and all the other miracles. 

Sometimes, we doubt that God will answer us when we call out regarding these things. But always keep in mind that He will do things in His time. His timing is different from ours. God will answer us with what He knows is the best, the one that reveals His glory, the one that teaches us and molds us into better people. 

Our role is to roll the stone away like the people did.

His role is the impossible.

Trust in God's power, that He will act upon His wish and that you will no doubt witness His glory.