Sexual Purity
by Daniel Carandang
SEX.
One word alone can conceive a wide range of views and opinions from different people.
Our culture is saturated with tons of sexual images. Billboards seen when on the expressways alone can prove this point. A car advertisement is never complete without that sexy model sitting seductively on the hood of the car. Even commercials display such sexual references. The songs we hear everyday can also be added to the list. With lyrics such as 'It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes,' '...I can make you believe in love, sex and magic' and all that, the songs we listen are tainted with sex.
Sex is everywhere!
It's very unfortunate that sex is nowadays confused love. Ever heard of the line 'If you love me, then you'll do it'? Some relationships pursue premarital sex (having sex before marriage) because they believe that this is the ultimate expression of love. Why deny the pleasure that you can have now?
Now, pause for a moment.
You might be wondering: "So, is sex bad?"
SEX is actually God's idea.
There is nothing wrong with it as long as it is within God's boundaries. He created sex for the enjoyment of those who are MARRIED. Yes, married. Not single people just wanting to have a good time or unmarried couples who refuse to tie the knot and just want to consume their romance. God made sex for MARRIED couples.
Of course, with this in mind, some of us may think that God is so old-fashioned and boring. Why can't He allow singles to have fun without commitment? Why can't he just let everyone have their piece of enjoyment? What's with marriage anyway? Why does He have to ruin the fun?
Again, pause for a moment.
Always keep in mind that our God is always after our own good. There is a reason why He intended sex as a pleasure for those who are in a committed marriage, sanctified by Him. Satan has this plot to steer us away from God by convincing us that He's just being a party pooper to our fun lives. But let's not be deceived!
"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
John 10:10
Through Jesus, we can see that God just really wants us to have the best in life according to His will. The thief in the verse is none other than to destroy whatever good God has in store for us. His lies about sex as a pleasure you can have anytime you want has a painful consequence hidden underneath. He wants to hurt you so he can hurt God.
Here is what Paul says regarding this issue of sexual purity:
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
So...what did he mean when he said that we should be sanctified?
In easier terms, to be sanctified is to be holy.
We have this default view when it comes to holiness. Some of us think that it's boring and is no fun at all because we always have to be good and demure at all times. But this wrong mindset should be changed with the true definition of holiness with regards to sexual purity.
Basically, what we should keep in mind is we must always SET OURSELVES APART.
Here's an illustration: everyone has their own toothbrush. Toothbrushes come in different colors, designs and styles. Some are hard, others are soft. But everything boils down to the fact that toothbrushes are SET APART for teeth. Their main purpose is to clean teeth, not your cheeks, your nose and other body parts. Toothbrushes are for TEETH.
Same with us. We should set ourselves apart from this world and its sexual enticements. Our bodies do not belong to us, they belong to God. When we indulge in sexual acts not pleasing in the eyes of our Lord, we are allowing ourselves to become one with this world and we drift away from Him.
Unfortunately for us, we live in a world that pressures us to look at sex differently from God's view. We have friends who are already doing it at a very young age, people we know who brag about their multiple sexual partners and all of that. This world perverts the real purpose of sex and makes God look like a super strict dictator who just wants to ruin our fun.
We think He's strict because the honest truth is: we don't know Him that well. And it's a fact that you will never trust someone that you don't know. Which is why we should know more of the God who is after our own good in order to realize that He only wants the best for us, especially when it comes to sexual matters.
Here are some points we need to remember:
1. Sexual immorality has it's consequences
A man named Ted Bundy was arrested and sentenced to death by electric chair for raping and assaulting numerous women. Before he was to be killed, he admitted that his craze with raping women began when he encountered pornographic magazines during his early years. One glance at those pictures was enough to send him towards the trail of death.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
James 1:14-15
SIN gives birth to death. When we allow ourselves to give in to our sinful temptations, we are blinded from the fact that we will suffer pain in the end. Teenage pregnancies and broken futures are often consequences of wrong decisions. A number of teens as of the moment are suffering from the consequences of engaging in sex at such an early age. Hearts have been broken and regrets have emerged left and right. What they thought was just one kiss led to one thing then to another.
Just remember: you can always choose your actions but you can never choose the consequences that follow.
2. Sex is POWERFUL
'It's just sex, physical thing! What's the big deal?'
Sex is more than physical. It is actually a binding connection that we take for granted nowadays. We think that sex is just kissing and all that flesh-pleasuring stuff but sex is actually a sacred act that binds a married couple together.
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
Ephesians 5:31
Man and wife are sacredly bonded into one via a marriage sanctified by God. Sex is one of the binding privileges they have due to their oneness.
Unmarried couples on the other hand do not posses this sanctified oneness that qualifies them for proper sexual pleasure.
It's like the paper and glue illustration. Two pieces of thin paper (girl and boy) are bonded by the glue (sex). When the glue dries and you rip the papers apart, one (or even both) of them are damaged. Same applies to couples who have had sex then eventually break up. The damage can never be undone. It's always there, marked within the depths of your heart.
3. Be sexually pure!
What God wants us to do is to set ourselves apart for Him. After all, we are His children and as much as possible, He doesn't want us to experience unnecessary pain brought about by our consequences. Be sexually pure for Him!
We can be pure with the smallest things. Young people like us should be mindful with the way we act around the opposite sex. As much as possible, avoid being too much touchy-feely with each other. Also, wait patiently for the one God has planned for you rather than date around in order to find him/her.
When you're in the right age and in a relationship, set some boundaries between you and your partner. As much as possible, be physically pure and know your standards. Bear in mind that sexual intimacy can wait after marriage and being sexually pure is a gift that you can give your future husband/wife.
If, however, you have failed in maintaining your purity in the past, don't lose hope.
God still has a plan.
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
3. Be sexually pure!
What God wants us to do is to set ourselves apart for Him. After all, we are His children and as much as possible, He doesn't want us to experience unnecessary pain brought about by our consequences. Be sexually pure for Him!
We can be pure with the smallest things. Young people like us should be mindful with the way we act around the opposite sex. As much as possible, avoid being too much touchy-feely with each other. Also, wait patiently for the one God has planned for you rather than date around in order to find him/her.
When you're in the right age and in a relationship, set some boundaries between you and your partner. As much as possible, be physically pure and know your standards. Bear in mind that sexual intimacy can wait after marriage and being sexually pure is a gift that you can give your future husband/wife.
If, however, you have failed in maintaining your purity in the past, don't lose hope.
God still has a plan.
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
1 John 1:9
Ask God to forgive you because He will never withhold such forgiveness when He sees your sincerity. You may not a be physical virgin anymore but you can be a spiritual virgin aiming to living your life purely from Him. Stand up again and run the race with a fresh start. It's never too late.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2
DARE TO GO AGAINST THE NORM! Don't let the views of this world get in your head. If the world teaches you that premarital sex is fine, stand by the truths of God. Remember, as children of God, you are set apart from this world and He has the best plans for you. If you abide in His will, especially with regards to your purity, you are rest assured that the best is yet to come.
How can we let this happen?
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.
Galatians 5:16
The Holy Spirit is our guide. If we aim to live a life pleasing our God, we should be sensitive to the words whispered by the Spirit He provided us. As early as now, cultivate your relationship with God and get to know Him more through His Word (the Bible). When you do, you will see the great plans He has for you and that there's more to God than what you know.
Being sexually pure is a gift you can give your spouse when you get married. It would mean a lot for them to know that you have been saving yourself by avoiding compromises.
Again, sex is a gift from God. It's meant for those bound by a marriage offered to Him. As much as possible, we should wait before we receive that gift ourselves. Don't rush into intimacy! In the meantime, we should focus our eyes on Him in the current roles He has given us such as being good sons and daughters and excellent students and servant leaders. When we offer our love lives to Him, we can be assured that He has Mr. or Miss Perfect waiting for us in the right place at the right time.
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